Nurturing feminity

All of us want to enjoy life.  Surrendering obeying or submitting our will to someone is not at all a problem if only we get a superior partner. Superior not in terms of money, but in terms of quality. So in case of Amaravathy Ambicapathy love story surrendering is not an issue.

But real life is different. Marriage is for convenience. Adjustment is expected and not surrender. 

Marriage happens between two economically viable beings who value material pleasure as everything in life. Is there any question of humbleness also in this relationship? Equality is proclaimed in every action,killing the mildness of relationship. Taking care of elders in the family is definitely viewed as a great sacrifice one does for the other partner.

While in olden days obedience was forced on a woman for family welfare ,in modern days, we thrust equality in marriage there by destroying the delicateness in relationship. 

Is there any perfect solution? There is.

Mother is the first guru of any child.  She can impress upon her children to a great extent.  Children should be made to do household tasks including cooking and cleaning. This brings about a sweeping mental change.  This makes a child to appreciate and value others service.   

Elders of the family should be served and respected.

Both husband and wife should believe in hospitality. The house should be thrown open for all relatives and friends. They should be welcomed with warmth. The kitchens should be kept busy for feeding them and treating them like kings and queens.  The  needs of guests should be considered primary,keeping their own needs as last.

If these basic things are provided by parents, a male child grows as a person who respects woman and girl child blossoms as a person  who care for others.  They grow with a sharp judgement knowing to differentiate good and bad,thereby helping them to take a right decision to choose a good partner. 

When a good and loving partner is chosen, where is the question of surrender or obedience? It is union of hearts. 

Net net,old values should be cherished for the sake of our own kids. Consciously, we can lead a good life. 

Surrender and Marriage

 Faith plays an important place in our life.  We do not understand our religion because we neither practice the rituals nor we have faith. We want immediate results.  

So we should learn to trust and surrender. That is the great mission of everyone's life. A woman is given a chance to practice that in her life.  

To surrender means to get rid of one's ego.  Most of the times to stop thinking also.  The life of a woman a century ago was actually in line with this mission. With least or no education, she just trusted the system. Pain or pleasure she had to bear with it. No options were there.   

She was taught to respect her in laws and husband. To serve them. This is a pure spiritual training.  Having disregard to material benefits.  

We are unable to understand many aspects of Hinduism only because we see only material world and material benefits. We always equate sufferings to sin and pleasure to good deeds. Whereas, sufferings are for learning.  Since we refuse to learn, we fail to understand our religion. 

Of course material benefits which an individual yearns are sure to follow, when one does his or her dharma.

In fact a life as a woman, makes one an yearning learner.  What one learnt in ignorance, is actually a torch to knowledge.  Like byhearting tables. While byhearting we do not understand. While solving problem it becomes essential.

But when a woman understands and accepts this as her swadharma, she is no less a Gnani.  Kannagi Arundhadhi and all come under this category. They understood what was expected from them and why they have to do. And then did it.  That is why they are celebrated.  Husband is just a tool.  

Will continue. 

Equality?

 Are men and women equal?  

Women are spiritually superior to men by birth. They are instinctively connected to God. They speak the language of heart.

But no religion gives equal rights to women. They are treated inferiorly in the material world. The modern women, to offset this, are flourishing in the material world, thereby losing their spiritual superiority. 

Women come with a readiness to learn. Because there is certain degree of submissiveness in a woman.  That makes them a quick learner. But what they choose to learn makes them either to grow spiritually and really become superior or fight equally losing their originality.

Marriage brings a sea change in a woman's life. She is expected to live for others. She is expected to serve others.  A traditional woman naturally takes up this challenge and comes out successful. That is the lesson to be learnt in marriage by a woman.

Setting aside one's priorities and thinking about others is the spiritual lesson they learn.  Once such a lesson  is learnt,she has passed her first test in this world. Such a woman is infectiously happy. That is the true bliss of marriage for a woman. Our happy mothers are proof of this. Yes, it takes that long for a woman to attain marital bliss. Unlike men!!

But does that make her equal? No. She is loved and wanted. Still man is superior. Because he earns and fulfills her needs. 

When she ventures into the next step, she tastes success. 

By taking more interests in religious routines, she can train herself to reduce her wants. Routines like fasting should form regular part of her life.  When she draws her inspiration from a higher source she is constantly guided to live a simple life. Thus when she detaches herself from all the comfort which she derives from the family, she is gifted with a view of seeing people as they are. The fault and goodness of the loved ones are seen as either black or white, without attaching any shade to it. She will be in a position to guide others.

Very few ladies venture into this area unless life forces them. 

Only when she does it she grows into a superior being. 

When a woman confines herself to fulfilling the bodily needs of man and children, she is only looked down upon.  Usually in her efforts to be a good housewife, she belittles herself.  Her culinary skills and interest on good looks definitely makes her wanted but not give her the superiority or respect she craves. 

When a woman chooses to learn, she chooses home. That has the scope of even giving her enlightenment.  Just be in touch with the subtler part of you. You are uplifted. 

More to share. Will grow.